9 Meta TTRPG Bitter Pills to Swallow
By JimmiWazEre
Opinionated tabletop gaming chap
TL;DR:
Most D&D problems aren’t rules problems. They’re social, organisational, or expectation issues. Talk to players directly, take responsibility for your own fun, accept D&D’s limits, plan for scheduling failure, and don’t let internet noise dictate how you enjoy the hobby.
Introduction
The internet is full of advice on the nitty gritty of TTRPG play. I thought I’d leverage my experience slightly differently today and focus on some solid tips that are way more wide angle. As an avid reader of this blog - you of course are a superior being, and do not need this advice! But feel free to pass it on to those less fortunate.
Seriously though - this post is geared more towards new folks to the hobby. If you’re comfortably settled in already, there’s probably not much for you here.
OK, so, I do a bit of Reddit scrolling every now and then, and the common questions and attitudes I see promoted there have prompted me to write this up. Ready? I’m starting anyway :)
1) Don’t solve real problems with fictional tools
If I had a pound for every time I saw someone online talking about ‘problem players’ and then weighing up ideas to leverage their power as Game Master over the game fiction to “punish” said player’s character - well, I’d definitely have enough for a night out. Anyway - don’t do it, it’s a crappy idea.
If you have an issue with a player, cowboy the chuff up and address it directly, preferably when it’s just you and them. When you use in-game consequences to punish out-of-game behaviour it just breeds resentment and escalation, making the problem worse.
2) Stop sneering at other playstyles
I try not to be guilty of this one to varying degrees of success. I’m only human after all. Maybe you can do better? It’s a sad fact of humanity that we’ve yet to shake off our tribal roots, and the moment something like a Dunbar Number is exceeded we get all feisty and start arranging ourselves into ‘us’ and ‘them’.
The TTRPG space is full of it: ‘Grognards’, ‘Theatre Kids’, the OSR, NSR, crunchy, rules-lite, simulationist, hand-wavey I’m sure you can imagine how the list goes on and on. Go to any online space dedicated to one of these sub-genres and you’ll find people slagging off the other side, often with Ad-homs and Strawman arguments, and often with the most minimal understanding of how their differences actually play out at the table.
It’s utterly pointless and self defeating. You grow more by understanding why different tables value different things than by declaring one way correct, so if you’re new to the hobby - try not to get sucked into all that negative crap.
3) You are responsible for your own fun
It’s a sad fact that TTRPGs tend to reward proactive players and quietly punish passive ones. If you’re sat, disengaged, waiting for the GM or the party to entertain you, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
That’s not to say I’m advocating for everyone to play without regard for other player’s enjoyment - certainly not. Rather I’m saying that even with a fantastic group with no problematic players - when it comes to how much YOU get out of playing a TTRPG - it’s largely down to how much YOU put in to it.
4) Scheduling Failures finish off more campaigns than Total-Party-Kills Ever Did
If you’re an adult with adult responsibilities then the chances are that you have a limited amount of free time available each week. Multiply this restriction by the number of players you have, and factor in that that limited free time is rarely going to align.
The sad result is that this doesn’t leave much time for getting everyone together for several hours at a time for some uninterrupted gaming, and even when you think you’ve got a rota sorted out, shit still happens. Someone’s dog gets ill, or they remember their kids school play.
Talk about this problem openly at the formation of your group. Use shared calendars, agree on quorum rules, and plan for absences. Simply hoping that it sorts itself out is how games die.
5) D&D is Bear complicated, don’t let that scare you off other games
Aside from D&D being huge, the brand recognition, and the vast marketing budget of Lizards-Ate-My-Toast, then the next principal reason that people never get to experience other games is that they don’t want to have to go through the trauma of having to learn a whole new system.
D&D was bad enough in this regard and in people’s heads it sets a precedent that all games’ character creation processes must also require the kind of zen like fastidiousness of a money laundering accountant working for the mob. No one has time for that.
Well, I’m here to tell you that D&D is an outlier. Yes, there are other games out there as complex, or more so, but there’s hundreds of others which are far far simpler (and maybe even better).
6) D&D is heroic fantasy combat, not a universal engine
Whilst we’re on the topic of D&D haha… So you know that saying: “If all you have is a hammer, then all problems start to look like nails”? That applies here. People who have only ever played D&D 5e often have the false idea that they do not need to consider other systems, as they can simply house rule D&D to fit whatever flavour of game that they have in mind.
This is far more trouble than it’s worth. D&D does super heroic fantasy combat very well, it does 1920’s cosmic horror terribly. Call of Cthulhu however…
Seriously, consider the type of game you’d like to run, and then tailor your choice of game system to that. Do not try to force a square peg into a round hole.
7) VTT play and table play are not interchangeable
Look, I don’t personally care much for online virtual tabletop (VTT) play. I tolerated it during COVID with my steady group (any port in a storm right?) but outside of that, I only ever use it as a way to get a feeling for new game systems before bringing them to my group, and the amount of horror stories I’ve seen in this limited exposure would be enough to turn me away from the hobby (Obviously I’m not talking about YOU, person with whom I have played and had a lovely time!)
If you’re new to TTRPGs, or if you’ve only ever tried VTT play (if nothing forces you to only play online) - I implore you to try to find an in-person game. In my experience, it’s a completely different beast.
Mainly it comes down to social dynamics, the communication and attitude barriers that being just a face behind a webcam brings, versus being there in person.
People just tend to be better at peopling when they’re out in the real world.
8) Most people don’t care about your lore
This applies to GMs and players in near equal measure: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but only maybe 1% of the TTRPG playing population cares enough to pay attention to your characters backstory. Honestly, it’s like listening to people tell you about their dreams - no one is paying attention to it.
Now, this can be a problem to varying extents, but it’s not without a solution.
Make lore short, relevant, and play into an established trope if you really want people to remember it. Any fleshing out should happen at the table as a consequence of stuff that you improvise in the moment - this gets a pass because it turns it into ‘show, don’t tell’.
If you really enjoy writing up detailed world histories (and I do!) then that material is mainly for you. Accept that early and you’ll be happier.
9) Ignore internet gatekeepers
If you’re not actively harming the table’s enjoyment, no one online (including me!) gets to tell you you’re “doing it wrong.” Play the game you actually enjoy, the way you enjoy it.
Conclusion
Merry Christmas for tomorrow by the way, I hope Santa brings you all the TTRPGs you’ve been dreaming of!
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Catch you laters, alligators.
The internet is full of advice on the nitty gritty of TTRPG play. I thought I’d leverage my experience slightly differently today and focus on some solid tips that are way more wide angle.